1 week no internet. Massive school works and finals plates. Overthinking. Blown out schedules. Ditched classes. Dry motivation. Souped mind. MIssing someone. Moody nights. Sleepless nights. Groupmate connection difficulties. Unsettled plans. And many more! -_-
Its hell week.
Freaking emotions all over my system are drowning me not to do my 2D plates, it sucks. And its kinda getting worse that I thought and its getting back. Too much of anything is too much, damn.
Jgh. It was totally an unexpected night to happen, surprised our high school buddy at her home by crashing into her house by bringing a cake along with ourselves. Then she treated us with lots of alcoholic beverages, food plus a total fun. I was kinday sleepy, feeling depressed for this freaking day and having a strange relapse feels that it is so unexplainable that I always hid on the inside. Then went home, I feel so high that I just text and chat people that talk on most of the time and the people that I adore and miss. It’s really a sad day really, not myself that I’m so freakishly weird that say things that don’t comprehend nor fit on the topic that we’re talking about. I’m not drunk absolutely not drunk maybe kinda tipsy, I just feel high and unworthy for today’s happening. And it sucks that all of my friends are not that happy for today and totally not that hyper, then I got affected by the way they were.
So now, still feeling depressed and over-thinking on our friend’s debut tomorrow that I feel so guilty that I won’t come. The she just group messaged us awhile ago that there should be no talkshits tomorrow on her marvelous event of her life. I don’t even know what to do or what to say that I won’t come. It’s really fucking hard, but I know that there are always ways but I suck when I feel down.
A goodmornight I guess, lots of things to do and school works for this whole weekend. Hope everyone has spent this day wonderfully not like mine. Pardon for my weirdness not-myself-kind-of-a-thing. Chow!
Having a hard time starting all my plates since last week, except for one subject which is my super duper favorite class, our Cinematography class. I procrastinate by watching fillms at night, researching more about filmmaking, studying, editing, and more freakings stuff related to filmmaking. One thing I lack, is scriptwritting.. it sucks that I forget how to make one and the process of it, good thing is it tempts me to read books which I really suck at because I don’t finish one and I just finished one (what?)(Proud to say, Perks Of Being A Wallflower is le first book that I’ve finished in my whole underrated-reading-book-life).
Pero seryoso talaga, yung feeling na wala ka ng pakialam sa ibang subjects mo, yung tipong wala kang takot na ibagsak. This term is really weird, dito ako nag-dadalawang isip na lumipat or mag-shift, at may onting lakas ng loob i-drop yung subjects na ayaw kundi Cinematography lang ang iiwan. Damn, bakit ganito huhu. Di pwede talaga, yayks.
Currently, I’m procrastinating for almost 2 hours, that I don’t have the motivation to start my unwanted plates. :(
Got scolded by our terror professor awhile ago for the first freaking time in my whole college year which is disappointing because he assumed insensitive words without knowing what I’m really doing. I’m really pissed off, thanks to him that I totally respect him by just nodding my head in every word he says and by accepting his weirdness. I understand the way he is, but the way he discipline the students is the big deal. Its was an upset lesson learned, I appreciate the way he teaches and how valuably he uses the time. Got really upset on the way he reacts on our friend’s absence by saying our friend’s name on the attendance sheet, so freakishly insensitive. (kinda-like-high school-discipline) *puhlease*
Even though I’m so loaded with massive school tasks this week, and lack of sleep, Friday is the target, that hopefully things will get well on before and on that day.
And excited for my favorite class tomorrow, will learn new things. Hooray.